


09/11/19: outside his comfort zone

by excelsi_or



Series: to a boy i love right now [17]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Fluff, is this angst?, iunno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/excelsi_or/pseuds/excelsi_or
Summary: Jihoon has never seen her cry before. It's almost unsettling.
Relationships: Lee Jihoon | Woozi/Original Female Character(s)
Series: to a boy i love right now [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1252010
Kudos: 17





	09/11/19: outside his comfort zone

**Author's Note:**

> 2 days in a row??? I'm nailing it. 😂

_November 9_

“Hyung?”

Hansol is surprised that Jihoon is actually calling him. Not that he and Jihoon don’t get along, but Jihoon prefers texting than actual verbal conversation.

“Yeah, hey.”

Hansol can hear a nervous inflection in Jihoon’s voice, also unusual. “Uhm… you okay, hyung? Everything good?”

“Everything’s fine. Sort of. I think, anyway.” Jihoon clears his throat. “I was just wondering if…” Jihoon hesitates to finish his sentence. He quickly sputters out if something was going on that he was unaware of.

“Uh, what do you mean?” Hansol asks.

“Just that…” Jihoon sighs. “Is she okay?”

Hansol now understands why Jihoon is acting so uncharacteristically nervous over the phone and also why the man is calling him of all people. “Noona? She’s just been having a bad week.”

“Are you sure? Because she’s denied every opportunity for me to visit or for her to visit and she’s never done that before.”

Hansol hums, returning to his homework. They’re working on stage blocking and lighting in class. “Yeah, I’m sure. Noona goes into these… we’ve decided to call them her “weekly puddles”.” He must sense Jihoon’s confusion. “Puddles make her anxiety cute. I don’t know. She’s the one who wanted to call it that. _Anyway,_ she forewarns us when she’s started dipping into it and she’s usually pretty good at working it all out herself. She should be back to normal in a few days.”

“So I shouldn't be concerned?”

“Well, yeah. You should be. But… if she doesn’t reach out to you, then I’d let her do her thing.”

“If she doesn’t reach out to me?”

“Seungkwanie and I haven’t worked out the best approach to tackle it. Noona doesn’t really tell us what she needs. She’s gets really snappy when we try.”

“I don’t know if this conversation has made me feel better or not.”

“You can just go visit her,” Hansol suggests. “If you’re really that worried about her.”

From the quickness of Jihoon’s agreement, Hansol wonders if the man just needed someone to confirm his idea.

Jihoon hangs up the phone and quickly calls Seungkwan as he collects his keys and wallet. He debates bringing his laptop as he has a few songs to finish up, but foregoes it. As he throws one of his oversized sweaters over his bare chest, he calls, “Gyu, I’m just going to—”

“The girlfriend’s house!” Mingyu calls from his room. “About time!”

Jihoon scowls as he slips his slides on. Seungkwan finally answers as he locks the door.

“Hey, hyung,” Seungkwan sings.

“I’m coming over.”

“Okay… why didn’t you just tell noona?”

“Because she’s been saying that she’s not in the mood to see me, so I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“Oh.” Seungkwan is quiet.

“I won’t stay,” Jihoon says. “I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

Seungkwan’s lackluster responses are making Jihoon nervous, but he trusts his own gut on this one. Seungkwan agrees to let him up.

The ride to their apartment sends his mind into a flurry, each idea darker than the last as to why she’d be upset.

Once inside the apartment, however, everything seems normal. The white of their walls are lit with the dining room lamp as Seungkwan does homework at the dining table. Her backpack sits on the chair opposite Seungkwan, her mess of notes and her laptop present on the table, but she’s nowhere to be seen. The light underneath her bedroom is off and Jihoon lifts an eyebrow in Seungkwan’s direction.

Seungkwan can only shrug as he slips back into his seat.

Gingerly, Jihoon knocks on the door twice before turning the knob. When he pokes his head in, he notes the lump on her bed. He figures maybe she’s sleeping until he gets closer and sees the light of her phone illuminating her face.

“Jagi,” he whispers.

She jumps and turns back. Her phone illuminates her face, catching the tearstains on her cheeks.

Jihoon blinks. He hadn’t expected her to be crying. In the near year they’ve been together, he’s never seen her cry.

“Shit, why are you here?” She quickly sits up and swipes at her cheeks. Jihoon stares down at her as she rolls over on her bed to turn on one of her bedside lamps. The soft glow of the lamp shows how disheveled she actually is.

“I… I wanted to check on you since it felt like you were making all these excuses not to see me.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, sniffling. “I wasn’t making excuses.”

Jihoon nods his head slowly. This side of her he’s never seen before and he isn’t sure how to handle it. He looks down at the empty space on the side of her bed. “Is it okay if I sit?”

She nods.

Jihoon sits and studies her. She won’t look at him, as if that will prevent him from hearing her sniffling or noticing her red-rimmed eyes. “What… what’s wrong, jagi?”

She swallows hard. They’d agreed on honesty at the start of their relationship, to be as open as they could be because he was so bad at communicating. By being open and honest, there was no room for confusion. But she can’t lie if she doesn’t speak either.

“Jagi…”

She leans her head back against the wall. It’s almost if a mask slips and Jihoon can see every emotion. Carefully, he crawls closer to her on the bed and sits by her side. He doesn’t touch her, deciding to let her take it at her own pace this time.

“I didn’t want you to come over, because I know this kinda stuff makes you uncomfortable,” she chokes out.

Jihoon frowns. “What?”

She motions to her face. “All of this. The crying and the irrational pain and…” She covers her face and groans. “God, it just doesn’t make _sense_ and I have trouble explaining it. And you just…” Her hands leave her face and she reaches for one of his. “I love you so much and I don’t want you to think I can’t talk to you, but…”

“But you can’t,” he murmurs. Jihoon squeezes her fingers gently.

“But—”

“No buts. I want to be here to support you. I might not understand, but you can talk. I would never judge.”

She suddenly bursts into tears again and she tries to cover her face from him, but he keeps a firm grip on her hand. Jihoon moves closer to put an arm around her and waits for her to react. She leans into him and he pulls her into him, wrapping her in his arms. One of her arms goes over his stomach and he lets her cry against him.

God, he hates stuff like this. He hates crying, whether it’s him or someone else.

But instead of disgust, he feels protective. When her breath gets shaky, he runs a hand through her hair. She has to slide her other arm behind him to get comfortable. Jihoon presses kisses to the top of her head.

“Do you wanna sleep?” he murmurs against her hair.

She nods her head, her weight falling further into him. Jihoon wiggles a little to get comfortable. Then he listens to her breathing, shaky and punctuated with hiccups, until it slows.


End file.
